Chuck Norris once broke the law... with his fists.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.
Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
Chuck Norris can in fact eat water.
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.