Chuck Norris once broke the law... with his fists.
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One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
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I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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Chuck Norris doesn't scroll with a mouse.
He uses a lion.
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Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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