Chuck Norris once broke the law... with his fists.
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood. But not the wheels. That's just wrong.
Chuck Norris' snot rocket was used to take men to the moon.
Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact? A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley. We know it today as Death Valley.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.