Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
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The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back.
But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
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Aliens believe in Chuck Norris.
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Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out.
It failed miserably.
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When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
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Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
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