Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
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I challenged Chuck Norris once.
He made a bun with my legs over my head, then he roundhouse kicked me to outer space.
Now I read the facts from Mars.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...
Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.