Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
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The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
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Chuck Norris was an only child.
Eventually.
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Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right?
Well he's currently making his third attempt.
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Chuck Norris once bowled a 300...
Without a ball...
He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
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