Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
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There are no weapons of mass destruction.
Just Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
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Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
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The boogie man checks his closet at night for Chuck Norris.
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