Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
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Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
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Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
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Chuck Norris shot an arrow down with an apple.
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There are no bombs, Chuck Norris just jumps out of a helicopter and punches the ground.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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When Chuck Norris was kidnapped by aliens he did experiments on them.
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Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
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Chuck Norris was the image used for Papa Smurf.
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