Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
Chuck Norris didn't grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler. With him inside it.
Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.
Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
A watched pot boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.