Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
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Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
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Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
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Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods.
He is now known as Shrek.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
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Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
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Chuck Norris fell down the stairs and broke somebody elses leg.
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