Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
Love does not conquer all. Chuck Norris does.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
Chuck Norris took a nap. The result was the Great Depression.
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Some say that Chuck Norris is the Stig.
Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.