Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
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Chuck Norris was once hospitalised, becaused he kicked his own ass.
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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
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Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
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If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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