Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
It's not the fall that kills you, it's Chuck Norris waiting for you at the bottom.
Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.
Chuck Norris never bathes. Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.