All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
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Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin... that he built with his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
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Superman's weakness is kryptonite, kryptonite's weakness is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris digs up gold - from silver linings.
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Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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