Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
Chuck Norris once stuck a fork in a toaster and the toaster got electrocuted.
The Beatles' song "HELP" was written after they met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand? A: Thunder.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.