Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite. Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars. But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
Chuck Norris is the reason Pluto is no longer a planet.
Hurricanes are really just Chuck Norris breathing into the rain.
The earth doesn't revolve around the sun. It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...