Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
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Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.
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A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
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Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
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Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris' favorite game is winning.
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Walker Texas Ranger was actually a reality show.
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