Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
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Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
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Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
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Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
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When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
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Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
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Chuck Norris once wrestled an Alligator.
He walked away with a new set of luggage.
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When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat.
His body cries.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run for President; the President runs for Vice God Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin.
Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
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"Let bygones be bygones" is always subject to Chuck Norris' approval.
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