Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
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The Titanic didn't sink by an ice burg, Chuck Norris was doing the back stroke across the Atlantic.
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Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
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Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
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It is better to give than to receive.
This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris fell off a building, he got sued for breaking the sidewalk with his fists.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room.
Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
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Chuck Norris' day consists of 25 hours.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
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