Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
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Chuck Norris knows the secret of the Caramilk
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Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it.
Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar.
The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically.
"That's amazing," said the bartender.
"Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby.
"Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
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Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
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A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
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Chuck Norris' tears would save lives, if he'd cry.
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Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.
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The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
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Chuck gives the sun the chills.
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