Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
Chuck Norris does not smile. \r\nHe flexes his teeth.
Chuck Norris once replied to a 'no-reply' mail, and got the answer he wanted.
Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
Chuck Norris does not play computer games, he makes games play computer!
Every morning Chuck Norris eats a bowl of nails for Breakfast... without milk.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."