Chuck Norris once threw a pebble.
We now call it...Hayley's Comet.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
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Chuck Norris always knows where x is.
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When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school.
When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.
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Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler.
With him inside it.
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If Chuck Norris drinks too much, he doesn't throw up, he throws down!
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When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
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CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
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Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
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