Chuck Norris once threw a pebble. We now call it...Hayley's Comet.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph. Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
Chuck Norris Turns his grass emo so it will cut itself.
Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions". He has no time for losers. He will rock you.
The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.