Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all. Your life may be forfeit.
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.