Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids.
Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
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Trick me once, shame on you, trick Chuck Norris... rest in peace.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
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Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system.
The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
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When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
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