The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
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A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
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Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?"
Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people.
They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
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