The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful he can jumpstart a car by attaching the cables to his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris.
He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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A black hole is created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a sun.
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The dinosaurs aren't extinct.
They're just hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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