There are 2 types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data
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A new army computer is put through its paces.
An officer types in a question, ‘How far is it from the barrack gate to the armoury?’
The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred.’
The officer types, ‘Seven hundred what?’
The computer replies, ‘Seven hundred, sir!’
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding?
That’s a hardware problem!
Why did the boy mouse like the girl mouse?
They just seemed to click.
At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer.
‘If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?’
Among the forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless.
When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his team’s software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
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A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
"No thanks, I'm traveling light."
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad?
A: Data
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb?
A thyme machine.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three.
One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.
The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.
The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!"
The boy replies back: "Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."