There are 2 types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data
Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room? A: A computer?
A programmer had a problem. He decided to use Java. He now has a ProblemFactory.
Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
3 Database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar. A little while later they walked out because they couldn't find a table.
A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
Yo mama's so fat when she made a YouTube account the entire network crashed.
How come the women loves the PC? It’s easier to turn on!
"Have you got the address of the butter website?" "Yes, but don't spread it around."