There are 2 types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data
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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three.
One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost.
He reduces height and spots a man down below.
He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
Vote:
Daddy, how was I born?
Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway!
Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN.
Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick.
As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
I have a statistics joke, but it's not significant.
I have a regression joke, but it sounds quite mean.
I have a machine learning joke, but it is not performing as well on a new audience.
I have a joke about deep learning but I can't explain it.
I have a geography joke, but I don't know where it is.
Q: What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
A: Lost.
Vote:
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out all over the screen.
What do Scientists have for snacks?
Micro-chips.
Gmail: Someone has signed into your account!
Me: Yeah that was me
Gmail: No it was on another device!
Me: Yes my tablet
Gmail: Someone stole your tablet?!
Me: What? No!
Gmail: Call the police