Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors.
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Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
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Before sliced bread, people used to say "That's the greatest thing since Chuck Norris".
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Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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Chuck Norris can copy and paste on a typewriter.
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If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
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Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
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Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
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Chuck Norris can mute silence.
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The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town.
They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
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