Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors.
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.
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James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
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Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
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The sandman puts other people to sleep but Chuck Norris put the sandman to sleep.
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Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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