When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
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Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart?
A: Chuck Norris' fist
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Jedis are now taught to use the "Chuck".
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When Chuck Norris got his first sling-shot, he created what we now know today as the "Moon", "Mars", "Jupitar", "Saturn" and "Pluto"
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When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons.
None of it is his own.
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In America, Chuck Norris finds you But in Soviet Russia, you find Chuck Norris.
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Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
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When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school.
When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
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