When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold. Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a will. Invincible people don't need them.
Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan. When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
The original plan for Hiroshima and Nagasaki was to send in Chuck Norris. We decided to go the humane route.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.