When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."
The largest unit of digital information is called Chuckbyte.
Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris hates both the player and the game.
Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank. The iceberg was just a cover-up.