When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon...longways
Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system. The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.