When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
Yoda used to be 6 feet tall till he tried that Force crap on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.