Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks. They fold under pressure.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He simply decides what time it is.
Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.