Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks. They fold under pressure.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
Chuck Norris lights campfires with fire ants.
Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
Adamantium may be hard but Chuck Norris is harder.
If you step on a crack, Chuck Norris will break your back.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.