Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
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You don't invite Chuck Norris.
He invites himself.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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"With great power comes a great beard!"
- Chuck Norris.
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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
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Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
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Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
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Chuck Norris didn't have a mum or dad, he created himself.
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