Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out. When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.