Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
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Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
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Chuck Norris does not get parking tickets;
he gets "thank you for parking anywhere" notes.
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Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
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Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
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Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
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There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
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For Chuch Norris, ANYTHING counts in horseshoes and handgrenades.
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When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
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Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
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Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
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