Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune.
The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
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Chuck Norris has 2 kids.
We know them as Pain and Suffering.
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Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door?
Too Late!
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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