Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink. If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...
Scooby Doo prefers Norris snacks'.
If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Chuck Norris is cooler than the other side of the pillow.
Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.
Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie. It was too short for release.
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.