Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
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In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.
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All men are born equal.
Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.
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Chuck Norris broke the world record for most punches in a minute with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
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Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris.
He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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