Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
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Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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Chuck Norris once went skydiving but promised never to do it again.
One Grand Canyon is enough.
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Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.
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The creation of a perfect sphere became possible after Chuck Norris became enraged with a rubix cube and roundhouse kicked the corners off it.
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The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
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Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
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