Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
Crest fights cavities, Chuck Norris kills them.
Chuck Norris invented his own brand of media disc. The Black and Blueray.
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
Italy looks like a boot... you know who owns that boot.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.