Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris.
The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early.
No one surprises Chuck Norris.
There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board.
It is now known as titanic
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
No one's afraid to criticize the US President, but no one even dares to say one bad thing about Chuck Norris...
Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.