Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
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Chuck Norris took a nap.
The result was the Great Depression.
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Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
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Chuck Norris doesn't try to find clowns they try to find him.
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Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
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Chuck Norris was once hospitalised, becaused he kicked his own ass.
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When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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