Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
Chuck Norris stopped playing golf after that unfortunate incident with the dinosaurs.
Q: Why are there prairies? A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
hen Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".
Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees. He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.