Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
Chuck Norris' keyboad has no delete key. Chuck Norris never makes a mistake!
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
Kanye West interupted Chuck Norris and became Kanye East.
Chuck Norris can swim and skydive at the same time.
We ask the president to make laws. The president asks Chuck Norris.