What's grosser than gross?
A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!
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I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears.
What am I?
Ugly!
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Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game?
A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.
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Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian?
A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
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After nine years of marriage, a butcher's wife is tired of her husband's morning flatulence.
She warns him that he'll fart his guts out.
One night, the wife decides to put pig scraps in his pants, so he will think that he actually farted his guts out and stop the flatulence.
The next morning, the husband goes to the bathroom.
Two long hours later, he comes out and says, "You were right about me farting my guts out. But with the grace of the dear Lord and these two fingers. I got them back in there!"
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The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants;
I asked her "Is it thick?"
She said "yes dear."
Again I asked: "Is it warm?"
She replied: "yes honey."
Then I asked: "Is it soft?"
She said, "yes of course."
"It is my shit!" I told her.
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Joke has 53.73 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's?
Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you.
Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
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What do you if you're trapped inside a whale?
Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
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Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job?
A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
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Little Johnny comes home one day and says, "Mom! Little Mark next door has a penis like a peanut!"
"What do you mean, Johnny? Is it shaped like a peanut?"
"No," says Johnny. "It's salty."
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Q: How do you eat a frog?
A: You put one leg behind each ear.
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