Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
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Chuck Norris can play Pokemon Go on his landline.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS.
Chuck Norris decides where he is.
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When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
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Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
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Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
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Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
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Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
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