Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
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If Chuck Norris told you to jump off a bridge, would you?
Of course you would.
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A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
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"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.
Just never his own.
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