Chuck Norris doesnt' walk away from explosions, explosions walk away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris... organ donors.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
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When Light wrote Chuck Norris' name in the Death Note, the book died.
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Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
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When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears.
There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
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Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.
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