Chuck Norris didn't grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people.
He walks through them
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A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
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When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can tie your hands behind your back with both hands tied behind his back.
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When you look for Chuck Norris on Wikipedia, it redirects you to the article titled "Roundhouse kick."
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Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor.
The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
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Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
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A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
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Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
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