Chuck Norris didn't grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.
Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver. When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures. Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.