When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
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Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
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Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.
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Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture.
And Won.
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When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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Chuck Norris threw rocks into the ocean and named them Hawaii
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
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