Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
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Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
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Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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Q: Why are there prairies?
A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
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To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.
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Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
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Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.
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When you look for Chuck Norris on Wikipedia, it redirects you to the article titled "Roundhouse kick."
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
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