Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
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Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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If Chuck Norris were to get into a fight with another Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would win.
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When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
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Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
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What's the last thing that goes through your mind when you fight Chuck Norris?
His foot.
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Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
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