Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
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When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris understood the ending of Lost.
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Chuck Norris took a nap.
The result was the Great Depression.
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Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
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Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
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The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
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A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
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