Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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Cocaine is Addicted to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
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If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
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Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
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When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris is the 51st state.
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