Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
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Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
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Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
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Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
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Spilled milk cries over Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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