Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
Chuck Norris's motorcycle has 4WD.
Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to. He knows CPR.
Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.