Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris can fold airplanes into paper.
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Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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Everyone knows Chuck Norris' pet rock... he named it "Earth."
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Dragons watch a movie called 'How to train your Chuck Norris.'
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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All men are created equal.
Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris invented black.
In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light.
Except pink.
Tom Cruise invented pink.
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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