When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
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Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
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Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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The creation of a perfect sphere became possible after Chuck Norris became enraged with a rubix cube and roundhouse kicked the corners off it.
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Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph.
Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
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Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
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Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
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Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
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