When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
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Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand?
A: Thunder.
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Chuck Norris once decided to dig a hole, today we call it the Grand Canyon.
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Water needs safety arm bands when swimming with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris can split the atom.
With his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
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