When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris. This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.
Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.
Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.