The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris.
It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
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Chuck Norris caught them all with one PokeBall.
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People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
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When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
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If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.
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Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
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Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009.
His state flower will be the Magnolia.
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