The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris.
It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
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Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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Chuck Norris once walked into my house and I was fined for trespassing.
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Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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For Chuck Norris, there is no such thing as gambling.
He already knows the outcome.
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Chuck Noris once got his blood tested.
His blood type was AK-47.
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If Chuck Norris drinks too much, he doesn't throw up, he throws down!
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