Chuck Norris can mute silence.
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Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
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Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off.
It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
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Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
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Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals.
Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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Chuck Norris can make scissors beat rock.
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Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
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Stonehenge was made by Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.
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Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
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