Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.
Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
Charlie Sheen can achieve recovery by taking a drug called Chuck Norris.
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
When Chuck Norris talks, people listen. When he doesn't, people still listen.
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.