Chuck Norris can swim and skydive at the same time.
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Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
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Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune.
The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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Chuck Norris can power solar panels.
At Night.
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Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name.
It's called the internet.
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If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win.
Period.
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Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
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