When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
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Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
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Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
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The AC/DC song "Highway to Hell" is about Chuck Norris' driveway.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play computer games,the computer plays Chuck Norris games.
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R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
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James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
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