When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow?
You just don't follow him that close!
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Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Chuck Norris once broke the law... with his fists.
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Chuck Norris once raced light.
He is still waiting for it to catch up.
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Chuck Norris had never escape from jail.
Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
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The names 'Adam and Eve' were simply coverups.
They were really Chuck and Norris.
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Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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