If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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To finally solve whether Mona-Lisa is smiling or not, Chuck Norris took a quick look at it.
She's crying
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Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Chuck Norris beat the light speed by 2 hours and 23 minutes.
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When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
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Chuck Norris once kicked Hulk in the face, so Hulk ran into the woods.
He is now known as Shrek.
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Never tell Chuck Norris he lost the game because he will make you lose the game then roundhouse kick you in the face making you lose twice.
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Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
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Chuck Norris DNA is classified.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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