If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
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Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand?
A: Thunder.
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Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris was an only child.
Eventually.
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Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
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Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
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Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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Chuck Norris can follow you into a revolving door and come out ahead of you.
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