If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
Chuck Norris keyboard doesn't need a delete button.
Chuck Norris says to rate this five stars or he"ll throw you five NINJA stars.
Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris can turn diamonds back into coal.
Chuck Norris wrote the Assassins creed!
Chuck Norris can swim and skydive at the same time.