If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do his taxes.....he just sends a blank tax form with his picture on it.
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The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
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Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
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Chuck norris made medusa turn into stone.
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Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
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For every victim of a Chuck Norris round house kick, there is a star.
As you can see, there are a lot.
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The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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