If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris pours the milk first, then he pours the cereal.
Then he places the bowl.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
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Chuck Norris is the reason there is wind.
The air tries to get away from him as fast as possible.
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a werewolf.
When full moon came, the werewolf turned into Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone.
Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris doesn't make typos.
Words simply stutter in his presence.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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