If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
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There was no Big Bang.
Chuck Norris arm wrestled himself and the energy produced created the universe.
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When Chuck Norris got stung by a bee, the Bee had an allergic reaction called Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar.
The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
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We ask the president to make laws.
The president asks Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee.
This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
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Chuck Norris' favorite game is winning.
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