If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris knows who A is.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
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Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
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Chuck Norris once played with Legos.
The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris.
He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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If Chuck Norris were to write his own "Chuck Norris Facts", this website would have to be changed to "Chuck Norris Laws.com".
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Stonehenge was made by Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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