If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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Justin Bieber was inspired by Usher because of his music and dance, Usher was inspired by Michael Jackson The King of Pop, Michael Jackson was inspired by...Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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Chuck Norris kissed a girl once.
She's still blushing, we call her Sun.
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During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured.
For torture, they made him eat his own entrails.
He asked for seconds.
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Chuck Norris made the llama extinct.
Never spit in his face.
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Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
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Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
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