If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
Chuck norris made medusa turn into stone.