If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
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Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room.
Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
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Before god said, "Let there be light," he asked Chuck Norris,"Can light let there be?"
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Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
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Chuck Norris has 2 kids.
We know them as Pain and Suffering.
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When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat.
The weights do.
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
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