Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
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When you insult Chuck Norris, the next thing you are going to see is a bunch of halos.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine.
But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
Chuck Norris passed a kidney stone once.
That stone is now known as The Death Star.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car...
The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
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When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
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Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.
Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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