Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Everyone knows the speed of light...
Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
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When you look for Chuck Norris on Wikipedia, it redirects you to the article titled "Roundhouse kick."
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Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
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Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it.
Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
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Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
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