Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
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Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
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Chuck Norris haunts ghosts.
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At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.
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The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes.
He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
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