I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3."
All was good.
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Chuck Norris really can get chicken from a tuna can.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch.
He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
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Chuck Norris once stayed at the Hotel California and was allowed to check out... and leave.
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Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
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The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
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The best security system for a bank is when Chuck's money is in it.
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Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris."
Then his reflection cried and walked away.
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