When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
Jesus is the son of God. God is the son of Chuck Norris.