Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
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Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
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Chuck Norris tells clocks what time it is.
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone.
The ground is afraid to break it.
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