Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
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Chuck Norris runs until the Treadmill gets tired.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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Chuck Norris made a mistake once and it corrected itself.
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