When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
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Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills.
They made him blink.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
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When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
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Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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Chuck Norris can put out a fire using nothing but gasoline.
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