When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
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Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
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Chuck Norris goes to the Bermuda Triangle for vacation.
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Chuck Norris can see at least 3 extra colors.
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Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
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Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars.
He smokes smoke grenades.
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Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
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There was once a ship that wouldn't let chuck norris on board.
It is now known as titanic
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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