Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
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Every bone inside Chuck Norris is his funny bone, cause he laughs wherever you hit him.
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris.
After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
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Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
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If you are stuck on a test and you don't know the answer to a question, write in Chuck Norris.
The answer is always Chuck Norris.
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