Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
Water can't breath under Chuck Norris.
Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink. If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
Love does not conquer all. Chuck Norris does.
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.