Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
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When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
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The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
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April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
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Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
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Lightning doesn't strike Chuck Norris, chuck norris strikes lightning!
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
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Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
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Chuck Norris went on Man vs Wild once.
The Wild lost.
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When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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