Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris' glare will liquify your kidney.
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Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
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Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
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When Chuck goes into outer space his head doesn't pop, space pops around his head!
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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Q: Why are there prairies?
A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
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Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
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Hurricane Katrina wasn't the weather... it was the wind of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick from Texas to Louisiana.
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