The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea.
Until it met Chuck Norris.
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A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over."
Those children were the dinosaurs.
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Chuck Norris is proof that legends never die.
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When the President pushes the big red button, Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
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Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
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Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
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Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
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Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
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Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
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