The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea.
Until it met Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
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There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard.
Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
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Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
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Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
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The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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