When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris never swam.
Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
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Yoda used to be 6 feet tall till he tried that Force crap on Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to make a cameo appearence in "Full House" but he was let off because he wanted to rename the show "Roundhouse."
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Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
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When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer.
Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris can swim and skydive at the same time.
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Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
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Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
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Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
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