When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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Chuck Norris was born in a house he build himself.
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Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.
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You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right?
Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla".
Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
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Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one".
Wrong.
Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner.
The corner always backs away.
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In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself.
Now he has provoked the event 2012.
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Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
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