When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris finished Minecraft.
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Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet.
That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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They say, "You can't fight city hall", but Chuck Norris can.
It's not much of a fight....
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Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
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Chuck Noris once got his blood tested.
His blood type was AK-47.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
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