When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
Chuck Norris always knows where x is.
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.