Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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Chuck Norris stem cells can reproduce missing limbs.
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People say that time heals all wounds.
They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris puts ice cube trays in the cupboard, and he gets ice.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone.
The ground is afraid to break it.
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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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Q: Why are there prairies?
A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
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Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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