Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
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Chuck Norris doesn't try to find clowns they try to find him.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Chuck Norris can in fact eat water.
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Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
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Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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To run away from Chuck Norris man invented a car, then to catch them Chuck Norris invented crashes.
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Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
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