Chuck Norris can follow you into a revolving door and come out ahead of you.
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Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
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When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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Chuck Norris already has Final Fantasy XXI.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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Death once got sentenced to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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