Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
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A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
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The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
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Before god said, "Let there be light," he asked Chuck Norris,"Can light let there be?"
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Chuck Norris can skydive into outer space.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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Sliced bread is the best thing since Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
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