Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
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When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
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Chuck Norris can locate the nowhere.
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Chuck Norris is what makes the Central Nervous System nervous
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When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
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