Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
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Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
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Chuck Norris can split the atom.
With his bare hands.
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For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
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When Chuck Norris went to the beach, he gave the ocean a bath.
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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