Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
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A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
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Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
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Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
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Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow.
No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
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Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.
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Chuck Norris can play Bach's 9th Symphony with a triangle.
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Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
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Chuck Norris once played with Legos.
The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
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