Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
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We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies.
We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
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Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
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Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.
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Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
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Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
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