Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week. The man was missing for four and a half years.
Chuck Norris can clog the toilet with his pee.
In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.