Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
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Some people have alter egos.
Chuck Norris has no such thing.
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Chuck Norris was asked if he would be running for President, after a chuckle, he stated, nothing makes him run.
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Chuck Norris Avenged the Avengers.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.
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Chuck Norris can finish Sims.
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Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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Did you know Chuck Norris's tears was the curernto Cansa, but the problem was he never ever cried.
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Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor.
The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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