Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
People sell their souls to the devil. The devil sells his soul to Chuck Norris.
Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.