Joke #1089

Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
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Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
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Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler. With him inside it.
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Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture. And Won.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
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Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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The phrase "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" was actually first coined by Chuck Norris when he came out of the womb.
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Chuck Norris will chuck you in the norris!
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a will. Invincible people don't need them.
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The sandman puts other people to sleep but Chuck Norris put the sandman to sleep.
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Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
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