Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
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Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear...
Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt. Everest in 15 minutes, 14 of which he was building a snowman at the bottom.
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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers.
The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Chuck Norris can build a house from the roof down.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
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Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
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Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.
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When you break a leg it is actually not your leg that is broken.
It´s Chuck Norris´s leg.
He owns everything including you and your pityful leg.
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