Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
Chuck Norris is the ultimate hide and seek player; no one dares find him.
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.