Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
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Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
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Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
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Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
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Revenge is a dish best served...by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
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